Dove with Branch
January 30, 2006 Insights From the Dean of Peace
by Dean Van Leuven

I hope you are enjoying the new format.

I welcome the Wendover Times of Wendover, Utah as the newest member of our growing family. They will be carrying all four of my newspaper columns in their weekly newspaper.

We have agreed to do a two hour Seminar in April and a full day workshop in the fall for the Lane Education Service District for teachers and staff of the schools they serve. The Subject is creating a positive classroom experience. I look forward to this opportunity to help create a positive learning experience for both students and educators.

Our offer of two free phone seminars when you subscribe to this newsletter still continues. You must subscribe on the web at to get the free seminars. When you subscribe on the web site you will also receive a free e-book.

If you enjoy this newsletter and know someone who you think may enjoy it as well, please feel free to share it with them

Ask the Dean?
by Dean Van Leuven - The Dean of Peace   Global Struggle

Dear Dean, When my son wants something and I tell him no he keeps asking until I get so tired that I give in to him. How can I make him stop asking? A.J. in Boise

Dear A.J., He has learned that if he keeps asking you will say yes. He will keep doing this until you teach him that this will no longer work for him. Start by showing him that it won't work. then explain why it won't work, then teach him the best way to present his request to you and always, always do it in a loving way. You are the teacher. He learns his lessons from you. the Dean

Dear Dean, I belong to a service club and we are often involved in community projects to help our community. I get very upset because some of our members shirk their duty and do not help in our various projects to help the needy. Is their some way to get them to do their part or should I just give up and leave for the sake of my own peace of mind? A caring community helper

Dear Caring Community Helper, It is wonderful that you contribute so much to your community. Each of the other members is there for similar reasons. However the time and energy they have to offer and the vision they have for what project is most important is different than your own. Appreciate them for being there and accept whatever they have to offer as a gift to the community. We help others out of a sense of love. Release the idea that others should give more love than they have to offer. the Dean

Send your Ask the Dean Questions to: P.O. Box 535, Elmira, OR 97437 or visit Dean Van Leuven is a psychologist, teacher and author of numerous books about anger.

Law, Politics & Society ... As I see them
by Dean Van Leuven - the Dean of Peace   Globe Magnify Glass

I read a editorial from the National Review recently that stated "Of course their is nothing wrong with people being more polite to one another. But the belief that a healthy liberal democracy is one in which partisanship has disappeared is not merely ignorant, it's dangerous. Democracy is about disagreement before it is about agreement."

His idea is that we should choose up sides and then fight for which side should prevail is the only healthy way to conduct our government. First of all when we do this we choose the plan put forth by our group and then fight for that plan whether we see it as the best solution or not. This polarizes us so that we do not look carefully at alternatives. Second democracy is about agreement. Most groups try to reach consensus. Consensus is what we strive for. Majority vote is only a lesser option.

We have learned to create sides which are fighting with each other as a way of solving our problems. It may be that way at the moment but it doesn't have to stay that way. Defending it as the only appropriate way is not helpful.

Dean Van Leuven is a psychologist, conducts workshops and is the author of many books on anger. Contact him on the web at

Creating a Peaceful New World
by Dean Van Leuven - the Dean of Peace   World Peace

Life itself is miraculous, therefore you never need to seek miracles. Everything in your life is a miracle to be cherished. A grain of sand, a bee on a flower, a sailboat, a cup of coffee, a wet diaper, a caterpillar, are all miracles. Those who see life as a miracle don't have the time for despair or self-pity. When we learn to view life and everything in it as a miracle, we soon see that complaining is a waste of the miracle that we are. A complainer seldom stops to consider the alternative to his problems; which is not even existing.

Life presents itself to us and asks nothing of us. We can take life and swim deliriously through it, or we can fight it. But when we elect to spend our time fighting it, we can't use that same time to enjoy it. Too many of us fail to appreciate what a gift life is. We bemoan our fate instead of realizing what a miracle it is that we are even here in the first place.

We spend our time seeking miracles anywhere, from anyone, instead of seeing everything and everyone as a miracle in and of itself. When we cultivate a sense of appreciation for just being alive, we will have no time left for carping about the injustice. We will love life rather than fight it.

Dean Van Leuven is a psychologist, conducts workshops and is the author of A Peaceful New World and many other books dealing with quality of life issues. Contact him on the web at:

Tips for Peaceful and Joyful Living
by Dean Van Leuven - the Dean of Peace   Left Arrow

Monday: Something that worked for you when you were ten years old may no longer work as well today. When you find the belief you learned growing up no longer works, change your belief to one that will produce the desired results.

Tuesday: Permissiveness is not love and assertiveness is not anger. Being loving does not mean that we are giving up control of our life to others.

Wednesday: Be how you want others to be. They will respond in kind. The rewards you receive will be many times worth the effort. When we are angry we receive back anger in return.

Thursday: We hold our self prisoner with our own thoughts. Today is a good day to forgive our parents - or others, and release the past.

Friday: Every circumstance offers more than one way to look at it. If you look for a positive solution to any problem or event you will be able to find it.

Saturday: Our primary emotional experience is the need for love. We feel good when we experience it. Giving up fear and anger allows us to feel more love.

Sunday: Any time you feel anger, or you have chosen the wrong response review the event and decide how you would have preferred to respond.

Dean Van Leuven is a psychologist, conducts workshops and is the author of A Peaceful New World and many other books dealing with quality of life issues. Contact him on the web at:

Additional Notes

If you know someone who might be interested in using any or all of my weekly newspaper columns in any media format please pass the information on to them or send me their e-mail address and I will be happy to start sending my columns to them.

Remember, if you would like to receive the free e-book and the free phone seminars you must sign up at the web site.

I welcome your suggestions or comments and any questions you may have. If you have a question that you would like addressed in the Ask the Dean? column feel free to send them to

If you are a charitable organization and would like to reprint any of my articles please contact me for permission which will be cheerfully granted.


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