Dove with Branch
April 17, 2006 Insights From the Dean of Peace
Notes from the Dean's Desk
Welcome! - Dean Van Leuven

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Ask the Dean?
Dean Van Leuven   Global Struggle

Dear Dean, I have some comments about the letter concerning tipping servers. Most servers make less than minimum wage. They rely on the tips to make up for this lack in income from the employer. Granted, this isn't the ideal way to pay employees in my opinion, but I did work in the Food and Beverage Industry for over 20 years. My father was rude about tipping also. He believed the wage should come from the employer not the one receiving the service. Well, that's nice, but unfortunately that's not the way it is. So, this boyfriend, as do many others, needs to be made aware that the server is paid poorly and then taxed 11% (and this could be higher at this point in time) on their total sales. This means if you only tip 10%, the server has to make up the difference when paying taxes at the end of the year.

Serving is one of the hardest jobs out there. Everyone blames the "messenger", whether it is the chef that doesn't want to alter their preparations with a special request, the client who isn't pleased with the food; or even the manager if the client runs out on their tab. Everyone blames the server. It is a thankless job, and we need to show our appreciation with a few more $$ If you can't afford to tip well, you shouldn't be going out to eat. - Ex- waitress

Dear Ex-waitress, This is an aspect of the problem that needs to be addressed as well. I think not going out to eat if you can't afford to tip is an unsatisfactory solution. It is left with the same problem as the basic custom, voluntary compliance. This is an instance of a custom/law not well designed for peaceful living. We should seriously consider changing the law to include a minimum tip on the bill and keep the custom of tipping for exceptional service. They do this in some countries. In the meantime the server is left with always doing his best and relying on the averages. Expect unpleasant surprises but know your best will be rewarded in the long run. - the Dean

Dear Dean, As long as they make tipping optional, then it is always my choice. I tip if I think the service is good. Why should anyone be upset at me? - Selective Tipper

Dear Selective Tipper, The custom is that everyone tips. People are going to be upset when you don't because they expect it, and they derive their income from it. It doesn't make either of you right or wrong. It is simply an unfulfilled expectation. - the Dean

Send your Ask the Dean Questions to: P.O. Box 535, Elmira, OR 97437, or visit to submit by e-mail.

Law, Politics & Society ... As I see them
  Globe Magnify Glass

When our ancestors came to this country they were generally not welcomed by those who lived here originally. Now we find ourselves in their place. We see new immigrants as a threat to our way of life.

Fair is fair. Our families came here because of opportunity. Why should we deny that to others? When we want to keep the opportunity for abundance to ourselves, we do not endear ourselves to our neighbors.

The rest of the world are our friends and neighbors. When life is better here than in their hometown why should we prohibit them from coming? They have something to offer, just as our ancestors did when they came here.

Creating a Peaceful New World
  World Peace

What is heaven like? It is a constant state of bliss. When we don't feel anger, we are in such a state of bliss, a state we can fully enjoy when we totally give up our anger. It is within the power of each of us to live in a state of bliss.

Not having anger is such a freeing feeling. You never have to go to bed trying to figure out how to get even. You no longer have to judge how other people are acting. You just accept the world as it is presented to you. You spend your time thinking about the best way to make it work for you. You are able to focus on making decisions that allow you to fully enjoy life. And you do fully enjoy life!

If you value happiness, if you value joy, then make the choice to not allow anger into your life. Just knowing that a life free of anger is available to you once you make the choice to enjoy it will make you feel better immediately.

Tips for Peaceful and Joyful Living
  Left Arrow

Monday: Today I think about the things that make me angry so that I can understand why they do.

Tuesday: Today I focus on my most upsetting problem to understand why it upsets me so much.

Wednesday: Today I make a plan to change my thinking about the thing that upsets me the most.

Thursday: I realize that there is always a more effective answer to my problem than the answer I have now.

Friday: Today I think about why it is better to respond in positive ways to my problems.

Saturday: Today I try new positive responses to my problems.

Sunday: Today I find out how others are able to solve the same problems I have without being upset.

Dean Van Leuven is a psychologist, conducts workshops and is the author of A Peaceful New World and many other books dealing with quality of life issues. Contact him on the web at:

Additional Notes

For those of you who are in the Portland. Oregon area we will be doing a 2 hour seminar, "A Peaceful New World," at the Body, Mind, and Spirit Exposition at the Rose Garden 5:00 to 7:00 PM Saturday April 22nd.

The Phone Seminar for this week is: Having Fun at Work.

We spend most of our waking days at work. If we don't learn how to enjoy it we are wasting a great part of life. Learn to enjoy your work experience and you increase your quality of life. We can all do this if we know how.

We have added a new feature to our phone seminars. To make them more accessible you can schedule them at your convenience for any day Monday through Thursday after 5:30 PM Pacific Time by calling 800-359-6015 or e-mailing at least 24 hours in advance to arrange a scheduled time.

Remember: You can subscribe to the newsletter and get two free phone seminars.

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I welcome your suggestion or comments. If you have a question that you would like addressed in the Ask the Dean? column feel free to send them to


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